Sometimes I would prefer initially to avoid conflict of any kind. I’ve had this concept of me always being “nice,” and I thought that was a good thing for many years. Lately, in the last several years, however, I have discovered there can be great joy in constructive conflict.
I participate in a few different circles where it is more than acceptable to speak your mind and your heart. In order to be present for each other so that it is a safe environment to open up, it is most preferable to clear out any emotions that might get in the way of being present. So, I have learned some different techniques for getting clear about what I am feeling and where those feelings are coming from, with the ultimate goal being to reduce the charge of them.
In one anger workshop years back I discovered the power of holding space for someone to discharge their anger (even if that anger is directed at me). It can be a very joyous thing, especially when I come away with a deeper understanding how it is ok for me to express feelings like anger too. Yeah!
