Adding a new discipline to my schedule sometimes takes a bit. A few days ago, I fell into the pit in the middle of the street (metaphorically). I didn’t even realize it until that evening, when I became aware that I had not drunk any water (or any other liquid) all day, nor had I eaten anything. I didn’t go for the intended walk that I had committed to, and I only managed to get in 5 minutes of painting ( I have committed to 15 minutes per day no matter what) that day too.
I sat at the computer all that time, working at tedious and stressful things, in extreme discomfort and even pain. That is the dysfunctional pit that I used to get stuck in. I learned how to get out of it quite a long time ago, and even started taking a totally “different road” but suddenly this week I discovered that I had sleep-walked right back in there.
I am choosing to look at this setback as a growth challenge. I still have not walked, however I am prodding myself into active consciousness. These little lapses of self -discipline are a gentle reminder to me to open up to guidance – the Muse, higher power, whatever word works for you – because if it’s up to me to manage myself , I get too cerebral and mess things up. I begin to think that it’s up to me to figure it all out, and I literally drive myself crazy. And my art suffers. I can manage my art right into “dead”.
So I have dug myself back out of the pit, again, and I’m trying to find that different road once more.
